Fhurt Pownder
Residents of Northwood woke yesterday to find water “gushing down the hill towards the Three Oaks development”, according to eyewitnesses.
Southern Water confirmed a burst water main on Horsebridge Hill/Cowes Road, where engineers worked through the morning under temporary traffic lights at Parkhurst Road and Lonsdale Avenue.
The company stated,
“Our teams were on site this morning to repair a burst water main at Horsebridge Hill.
There are two-way traffic lights in place so our engineers can carry out the repair safely.
Barring any unforeseen issues, the estimated completion date for the repair is by the end of play today.
We’re sorry for the inconvenience caused to residents and commuters, and appreciate their patience while we fix the water main.”
All entirely sensible, until a small, green-suited figure emerged from a nearby hedge clutching a rainbow-coloured spade.
The Accused
Seamus O’Bigbucket, the Northwood Leprechaun and self-appointed Chief Rainbow Pursuer, admitted to being “in the vicinity with legitimate intent to locate treasure,” but denied any connection with the aquatic incident.
“I was only followin’ the rainbow,” he told Island News, nervously polishing a coin the size of a digestive biscuit. “You can’t just not dig when the thing lands right on your doorstep, can you?”
When informed that residents were temporarily without water, Seamus appeared horrified.
“Without water? Saints preserve us, I thought it was my own pot spillin’ out! I’ll not have the blame for people’s tea going dry. Next thing they’ll be sendin’ me a bill. I don’t pay gold out; I collect it. It’s a matter of principle.”
The Scene
Local commuters reported both significant delays and a certain amount of unnecessary sparkle on the tarmac. Witnesses described “a suspiciously glittery puddle” forming near the traffic lights, though Southern Water has since assured Island News that the shimmer was “definitely not part of the water supply.”
Temporary lights controlled traffic, though several drivers claimed they were distracted by “a small gentleman shouting encouragement at the engineers and offering lucky charms for a nominal fee.”
The Interview
When pressed on whether he would, or indeed would not, perhaps definitely maybe dig again, the Leprechaun was evasive.
“Well, I won’t do it again unless I have to, ye see. Rainbows don’t exactly issue appointments. They appear, ye dig, and sometimes, apparently, ye flood Northwood. That’s life.”
Asked if he would consider community service, Seamus suggested he might “drop a few coins in the bottled-water fund,” before hastily clarifying,
“Copper ones. Sentimental value only.”
Aftermath
By late afternoon, Southern Water crews had contained the leak and bottled water was distributed to affected homes. The rainbows have reportedly retreated to a safer altitude, though several residents swear they saw one re-forming over Parkhurst Forest.
A spokesperson for the Federation of Legendary Lore Investigation and Evidence Specialists (FOLLIES) confirmed they were “monitoring the situation” and had advised all treasure-hunters to obtain written permission before commencing rainbow-related excavation within ten metres of a public utility.
Meanwhile, Seamus O’Smallpocket has been spotted at the Three Oaks roundabout, scanning the horizon with a cautious optimism.
“If there’s gold at the end of it,” he said, “I’ll just make sure the end’s in someone else’s garden next time.”.
And so that's what he did... So whenever you see a 'sprinkler', just know, the leprechaun has been at it again!
🧾 References
Isle of Wight County Press (28 October 2025): “Bottled water given to homes and delays on Isle of Wight main route” — reporting on the burst water main at Horsebridge Hill/Cowes Road and subsequent repair works by Southern Water.
Southern Water Spokesperson Statement (28 October 2025, 11:51 am):
“Our teams were on site this morning to repair a burst water main at Horsebridge Hill.
There are two-way traffic lights in place so our engineers can carry out the repair safely.
Barring any unforeseen issues, the estimated completion date for the repair is by the end of play today; what they are playing is needless holdups; it's a game they like to play for a few weeks or months, so that normal service will resume at some time.
We’re almost sorry for the inconvenience caused to residents and commuters and appreciate their patience while we fix the water main.
Eyewitness Reports: Residents described “water gushing down the hill towards the Three Oaks development,” prompting temporary/permanent and annoyingly extended road management.
Federation of Legendary Lore Investigation and Evidence Specialists (FOLLIES): Advisory on rainbow excavation within ten metres of public utilities, internal memorandum ref. F-PIPE/NCW-1025.
Interview with Seamus O’Bigbuckett (Northwood Leprechaun): Conducted roadside near Parkhurst Road under strict mythological observation protocols.
