Fhurt Pownder
Sandown High Street — 25 October 2025
Fresh from the oven and halfway into legend, Deli-cious, Sandown’s newest artisan bakery-café, has been shortlisted for the Isle of Wight County Press Café of the Year 2025 award.
Family-run by Piotr and Justyna Banachowski, the café recently relocated from Shanklin to Sandown High Street, where locals have welcomed them with open mouths.
“We’re thrilled and delighted to be nominated,” said Justyna, briefly halting a tray of still-steaming pierogi. “The community here has been wonderful, both the living and the vaguely shimmering.”
A Customer Base Beyond the Veil
The move has attracted an unusually diverse clientele. Regular patrons now include the Bembridge Werewolf, who commutes faithfully each Doughnut Day despite the full-moon parking surcharge, and the Brading Vampire, who praises the Eastern European menu for its “authentic Transylvanian paprika undertones and complete absence of judgement.”
The Alverstone Manticore calls the sausage rolls “majestic yet humble,” while the Apse Heath Djinn insists the lavatories are “so immaculate that one could eat Victoria sponge directly from them, and indeed I did.”
Meanwhile, the Sandown Cyclops has appointed himself official celestial consultant to the bakery’s ovens, claiming the glow from the pastry case aligns precisely with Orion’s Belt.
“It’s rare to find a croissant with both crispness and cosmic symmetry,” he said, polishing his telescope with a serviette.
Doughnuts, Delis and Diplomacy
Saturdays remain the highlight, with Doughnut Days drawing visitors from well beyond the sacred Five-Minute-Drive Radius.
“It’s unheard-of to travel that far for cake,” admitted one voter. “But Deli-cious is worth the petrol and the metaphysical risk.”
The café also stocks deli meats and Eastern European regional foods, which the Brading Vampire described as “a taste of home, minus the screaming.”
Piotr Banachowski thanked the island for its support.
“We already feel like winners,” he said. “Though the Werewolf keeps insisting he’d like an actual trophy, possibly shaped like a bone.”
Friendly Rivalry Brewing
Fellow nominees were gracious.
Dennis HQ Boutique & Coffee Lounge of Shanklin invited Deli-cious for a “mutual latte appreciation evening.”
Poppins Café offered to share its umbrella should things turn competitive.
The Coffee Bubble in Sandown promised “no hard feelings unless the espresso machine overheats again.”
Even Newport’s Blue Door said, “We’d open our door to them anytime.”
Judging continues under the watchful eye of the Federation of Culinary Lore, which confirmed that all cafés are being assessed on taste, atmosphere, and resistance to spontaneous enchantment.
Voting Details
Island residents can vote using coupons printed in the 24 and 31 October editions of the County Press. Ballots delivered by dragon will also be accepted, provided they are not on fire.
References
“Popular Isle of Wight Café Deli-cious Whips Up Support for Title,” Isle of Wight County Press, 25 Oct 2025.
Federation of Legendary Lore Investigation & Evidence Specialists (FOLLIES) — Culinary Division, File Ref: SD-004-PASTRY/FAE.
Apse Heath Djinn Research Notes, Vol V: “Sanitation and Sponge — A Comparative Study.”
Council of Mythical Gastronomy Proceedings 2025: “On the Effects of Moonlight on Choux Pastry.”
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